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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27476986">TAZ November Celebration: Dracula AU</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cactus_Lesbian/pseuds/Cactus_Lesbian'>Cactus_Lesbian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Adventure Zone (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>19th Century, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Dracula Influence/References, Epistolary, It's just a Dracula AU, M/M, Taako's an idiot in this one, Unreliable Narrator, Vampire Kravitz (The Adventure Zone), Vampires, but only because Jonathan Harker is an idiot, yes Barry is Van Helsing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:41:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,319</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27476986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cactus_Lesbian/pseuds/Cactus_Lesbian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of letters written by Taako Taaco to his sister, Lup, regarding his stay at the castle of Count Kravitz.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup &amp; Taako (The Adventure Zone), Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>TAZ November Celebration: Dracula AU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For the TAZ November Celebration! Day 9 is vampires, so even if I'm not doing all of the prompts, I absolutely had to do something today.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>3 May. Rockport Limited.</em>
</p>
<p>Dear Lup,</p>
<p>Writing this on the train, sorry not sorry if my handwriting sucks. Getting close to Raven's Roost, after which I'll have to take a carriage. Ugh. Wish I had a sleeper car or a booth all to myself, but, alas, I must inform you that I write this, not from the goodness of my heart, but as an excuse not to talk to these people. Some lady asked where I was going, normal kinda annoying train small talk, so I was all "Oh, you know, business at Raven's Roost Castle," and she got all pale and cagey? Handed me a cheap necklace and said she'd "pray for me." I'm not usually one to turn down free jewelry, but that's gonna be a YIKES from me. She said it'd "protect me from the evil that awaits me" (?) Like, ma'am, I am a real estate agent? The only "evil" in my future is needing to do a full renovation to get rid of ghosts or popcorn ceilings. Maybe I can pawn it off somewhere.</p>
<p>Your favorite brother, Taako</p>
<p>P.S. Is Barold doing well? Is he still doing science shit with garlic? Please give updates I need to know what his end goal is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>5 May. Raven's Roost Castle.</em>
</p>
<p>Dear Lup,</p>
<p>Finally at the castle! Didn't get to write yesterday because I was settling in and doing boring shit, but now that I have a bit of free time before bed, I GOTTA hit you with the hot gos. The guy selling this place (his name's Kravitz) is like, a count? Or something? He lives completely alone, no maids or butlers or anything. There isn't even another house around for miles, this castle is smack in the middle of a spooky forest. Don't know how the place stays so clean. Kravitz didn't seem to have a lot of count-ly duties (not that I'd know what those are) so he spends a lot of time hobby-ing and walking around the hallways like a phantom in full centuries-old court fashion. SO jealous. Anyway, I arrived pretty late on the third, like, past-sundown kind of late, and he answered the door personally, which is when I learned he had no one else living with him. I hadn't eaten dinner yet, so he led me to the dining room and let me loose on some very bland roast pheasant and potatoes. He didn't eat anything, but we sat and talked for a while about boring real estate business.</p>
<p>This'd be a good time to tell you that Kravitz is, just, unfairly pretty. Just <em>super </em>hot. Like, can-I-commision-a-portrait-of-you-to-hang-in-my-living-room levels of attractiveness. Sure, it's in kind of a corpse-y way, but he's attractive nonetheless. He has some primo cheekbones, Lup. And he really likes to play up the whole "mysterious tragic recluse" thing, it's both very charming and very dorky. I assume it's only 40% an act.</p>
<p>Apparently, hotness runs in the family, because that rich-people hallway full of dead grandpa portraits that every castle has? Chock-full of equally pretty people. This family either has some strong-ass genes, or they're into incest, which, :/. I actually thought one of the older paintings was of Kravitz, but I checked the date, and it was painted a good 500 years ago. Also, that guy had a different mustache style, so it surely couldn't have been him.</p>
<p>Kravitz also thinks those necklaces are ugly lol. He saw the little collection I'd amassed and said something like "what are those, what do you know." I told him they weren't mine, and that I wouldn't be caught dead actually incorporating any of them into my wardrobe, and that a bunch of random people just started handing them to me as freebies, I guess. (Oh, yeah, not just the train lady handed me a necklace. I got a lot from people who saw me headed to the castle. They all have kind of the same pendant/charm on them, but they're made of varying materials and stuff. They're all equally bad looking.) He asked if I could put them in the courtyard, far away from his quarters. I was like "yeah, same, I wouldn't want these things within fifty feet of me, either." He really takes his jewelry seriously. Just Rich People Things.</p>
<p>Haven't really seen the sun since I got here. It must get lonely, living in such a big, empty place. Maybe that's why he's moving out. Hey, Lup, check to see if there's any places for sale nearby, I low-key wanna keep tabs on him. Wink. Seriously, though, this man has a Tragic Backstory and I wanna romance-novel my way into soothing his terrible anguish and also smooch him a little. But that's unprofessional, so, alas, I have to actually do my job first. Bleh. No matter. This castle's big and full of antiques, but it's also kind of a fixer-upper. I can probably price it at something not too expensive, if we decide to move the furniture to the new place.</p>
<p>Your BFF (Brother Full of Feasant) Taako</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>9 May. Raven's Roost Castle.</em>
</p>
<p>Dear Lup,</p>
<p>Yo, this castle has like, <em>no </em>windows except the ones in my room? And the weather here is ALWAYS cloudy or rainy. How this guy hasn't gotten rickets, I couldn't tell you. DEFFO going to affect the resale value. But, you never know, it could affect it in a positive way. Maybe a vampire's gonna show up looking for a new pad. Can't even tell if it's night or day when I'm around the house. Watch says it's two o'clock right now, but I'm not sure if it's two am or two pm? Kravitz is awake, though, so I guess I am, too. It's only polite to adjust your sleep schedule to that of your host.</p>
<p>Plus to this castle, though: super cool music room with great acoustics! And a super cool piano that Kravitz evidently knows how to play! I cannot overstate how irredeemably charming he is, Lup, I'm fucking swooning. I got around to asking why he lives alone, like all "why do you live in such solitude? Does the loneliness not seep into your bones on those cold winter nights? (NO Lup, I am NOT projecting) Have you no hope for a wife? wink." And he was like "nah I'm too tragic and mysterious for all that" except he said it al lot smoother than that. Lup, his voice is downright <em>enchanting. </em>I had no clue <em>enchanting </em>was even a part of my vocabulary. Apparently he used to be an opera baritone. Or maybe it was his grandfather that used to be an opera baritone? It was pretty unclear, he said <em>he </em>was, at first, but then he got all stammer-y and backtrack-y. Weird, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't cute to watch.</p>
<p>I've officially started taking up the position of the only one in the castle allowed to cook meals, because it's honestly like he's never cooked before in his life. I have no idea how he managed to survive without staff. His pantry and food stock is also really bare. Aren't rich people supposed to eat like rich people? Kravitz doesn't seem to eat at all, actually, it's worrying. Ugh, now that I say that, I can fell the spirit of Auntie Tostaada entering my body. "No meat on your bones! I fear if you turn sideways, you'll disappear!" Kravitz is a grown-ass man, I'm not gonna force-feed him like she did with us, but I'll definitely be leaving out some passive-worried plates.</p>
<p>Your pain in the neck, Taako</p>
<p>P.S. Another weird thing to notice: I haven't found a single mirror in the house since I got here. Thank goodness I packed my own, or I would be depriving myself of my beautiful face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>13 May. The Courtyard of Raven's Roost Castle.</em>
</p>
<p>Dear Lup,</p>
<p>So, I went to the most nearby town to get some food shopping done and do tourist things, and holy shit, you're not gonna believe this, but they found a half-dead kid by the town cemetery. Wild day! Apparently the kid had a few whole pints of blood missing! Mentioned it to Kravitz, of course, and he was understandably freaked out and scared, but he also said some cryptic shit about "them" trying to "incite a mob against him"? I asked what the fuck he was talking about, and he said it was nothing for me to worry myself about. Which is romance-novel talk for "you absolutely <em>have to </em>investigate it further, shit's gonna be so climactic," but unlike you and Bluejeans, I'm not exactly known for my mind-blowing detective skills.</p>
<p>The weather's getting warmer and sunnier. Trying to catch those rays while I can. I'm being a healthy boy and eating a salad for lunch right now.</p>
<p>Your twin-iest brother, Taako</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>18 May. Raven's Roost Castle.</em>
</p>
<p>Lots of stuff happened today! In a bit of a manic state! I'm not in a romance novel! I'm in a gothic horror novel!</p>
<p>Unless...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Neverwinter Union Telegram</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Lup Taaco</strong>
</p>
<p>We kissed! Will elaborate in next letter.</p>
<p>Taako</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>19 May. Raven's Roost Castle.</em>
</p>
<p>Dear Lup,</p>
<p>SO! As it turns out, my new BOYFRIEND (probably. we didn't talk much about labels yet) is a vampire, which, based on your telegram that I got today, you already figured out. Well, whoop-de-do, 19th-century Nancy Drew, but maybe if you were actually hanging out with him you'd understand why I was a bit distracted. Or maybe not, you do operate under the misconception that Doctor Barry J Bluejeans is somehow cute. ANYWAY I was chillin like a villain in my room, right? And it was pretty stuffy, considering this is a castle built with <em>cold </em>outside temperatures in mind, so I tried to open the window. It's padlocked. No biggie, of course. I've picked my fair share of locks in my lovely time on this earth. I open the window and go about my nightly routine of staring at the canopy and trying to get my sleep schedule back on track for when I get home and have to stop staying up 'til five am.</p>
<p>After maybe an hour, some weird sounds start coming from outside the bed curtains, specifically from the window-side of the room. I assume it's a bat or something, because there are a lot of bats that live around the castle and in the woods, and they're pretty comfy when it comes to finding their way inside. So I don't want to get out of bed to investigate because 1. Rabies 2. I'm comfy. So imagine my shock and surprise when not one but two strangers (they were twins) pull back the curtains like some giant tooth fairies. (teeth fairies? that's nothing.) They probably expected me to be asleep, but little did they know I'm a MEGA-insomniac. I yelled and kicked them, of course, because Stranger Danger, and also because they had <em>fangs </em>(which, hey! Normally I'd be into! But their vibes were terrible.) I think one of them turned into a wolf at some point? Seems like an out-there power for a vampire to have, but okay. So I'm fighting them off incredibly valiantly with my never-ending well of raw physical power, and, out of nowhere, Kravitz just sort of appears? Kind of? The door didn't even open, there was some weird fog or smoke, and suddenly he was there! He was a lot better at pushing the twins out the window (because of his completely unfair advantage a la Vampire Powers) and I think they just turned into bats and flew away.</p>
<p>We both stood there for a second, catching our breath and absorbing whatever the fuck just happened, and Kravitz said "Well, I suppose I owe you an explanation." And I was like <em>"Uh, yeah, I fuckin' think you do." </em>It was at this point that I gave that last letter to Karen the pigeon.</p>
<p>So, he's a vampire, as you know, and he's having a territory feud with those twins. And by feud, I mean he's lived here for centuries with no problems and they just wanna steal his thunder and use his county as a blood bank. Kravitz only drinks from deer and other animals, by the way. In case you and Barry were about to come over here all stakes-and-garlic-y. This diet isn't particularly healthy, and he's not quite as strong as vampires who drink human blood, but it keeps him alive.</p>
<p>So, he explained everything to me and then he's like "I suppose you want to leave now... because... I'm a monster... :(" and that's some bullshit because honestly, being a monster makes him 60% more hot? And at this point, I'm still in a bit of a manic state, still got that adrenaline going, so I did an impulsive thing! I kissed him! On the lips! It was super quick, and I kind of regretted it right after, but he has a really cute blushing face for a guy with not a lot of blood in his body, and one thing led to another, and we ended up kissing more! Aaaaa! It was magical. We're still staying in different rooms, though, don't want to move <em>too</em> fast. He said I'm allowed to tell you all of this so long as you won't hunt him down or anything, and he says he'd like to meet you and your not-so-outrageous-after-all-I-guess vampire doctor boyfriend. Aaaaaa! Lup, I think he's a keeper.</p>
<p>Your over-the-goddamn-moon brother, Taako</p>
<p>P.S. Oh, yeah, the creepy vampire twins are still out there and still a threat? Actually, that's probably the reason <em>why </em>Kravitz wanted to meet you and Barry. Also, there's some weird tiny scrapes I got during the fight? They're right on my wrist, and they're starting to itch a little. I'm putting tape on them, don't worry. But I do want your or Barry's medical opinion on this...</p>
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